The No-Makeup-Selfie; Effortless, Thoughtless and Piontless

OK, I am gonna garner a lot of fucking hatred for what I am about to write, so read it carefully in order to not get me wrong.
I think this whole 'no makeup selfie in order to raise awareness for cancer' trend that's happening at the time of writing is fucking stupid.
Cancer is a horrible condition and I wish it upon no human being in any form and any measures to help those suffering with it are measures well taken.
But at the same time, how is taking a photo of yourself with no make up and then making your friends do it going to help?
To Raise Awareness?
Yea because cancer is such an un-talked about thing which no one has ever heard of and people need to wake up to and the only way people are going to learn more about it is from a lack of make-up on peoples faces. Obviously.
Boost the Self esteem of those suffering with it?
How? People with cancer can still wear makeup, its a lack of hair from chemo that could bring a patient down. Maybe if you shaved your head and got your friends to sponsor it, that might help fund research, but why go through all the actual effort of getting sponsors and losing that precious weave when you can pretend you're putting some actual effort into the plight of cancer sufferers with a baby wipe, a camera phone and a facebook account.
The most irritating thing about this whole no-makeup-selfie bullshit is the fact that I've seen some pictures of girls who are so vain, lazy and selfish that they don't even fill the no make-up quota. That's right, there are people who are so eager to follow a trend which really takes no effort to follow and still half-arse it for the sake of looking pretty and are still wearing fuck loads of make up. It's like wolfing down snickers while on hunger strike when you think nobodies looking, its not difficult not wearing makeup, its been something that as a man I've done the majority of my life. I'm not anti makeup, I get being insecure about the way one looks, but in this instance is even more stupid and lazy than the people who are actually taking no make-up selfies when if they really gave so much of a fuck you would be signing up for fun runs and begging people to sponsor you, rather than not raising a single penny by making a stupid fucking photo of you wearing less slap than normal and still ramping up the exposure and putting a toaster filter on it.

Super Irony

So I might need to see someone about a patent, because I am a genius, for I have discovered a brand new thing. I call it super irony. This does not refer to irony that is so ironic it deserves its own classification, such thing is to be accented with adjectives. No, this is more a new strain of irony than an elevation of irony. Super Irony shall refer to Irony used in an ironic context. Irony about irony. Irony2 if you will. I happened upon this new thing the other night when a friend of mine says on Facebook: "I find it ironic when people complain about something that they do."  The same guy who talks to no one and complains about people not talking to him in similar status' (Stati?) . Admittedly this could be seen as just an elevated form of hypocrisy rather than irony, but I feel such a things need clarifying in order to appease some part of my fabulous brain. This is not to be confused with meta-irony, my other discovery. The difference is the fact that meta-irony is intentional, the term meta having a more deliberate nature behind it, where as super irony isn't. My third discovery is Hyper-Irony, ironic statements about super irony. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and I should probably end this with an ironic statement. Tell your friends on Facebook. That ought to do it

Youth Groups in Chelmsford

So if you don't live in Chelmsford (that is the one in England by the way if you're american and your ancestors wanted to make looking on google maps difficult)  or you don't have some funny obsession with the place, you might be aware that due to 'budget cuts' the local government plans to shut down some local youth groups. Why? Good question. As far as we can tell the only reason is budget cuts, but as to why they are happening is because the economy is in the bad dispite the fact that the recession is arguably winding down. But the real question I wish to ask, 'whats the money being spent on?" I heard of a recent plan to rebuild the local council run leisure center Riverside, a crap idea because a) the facilities are fine there, well the cafe is shite, but there's a Tesco and a McDonalds within spitting distance so everything cool with that. B) because the time its being shut down it could be reeling in more money that will not be made up for by the nonexistent hype of a new one and C)because there are better things you can do with the £21m sum that being estimated for such a pointless venture. Then there's the big computer screens by the bus stops along my road dispite the fact that no one I ever knew wanted these things because any one with a watch can tell you what time which bus comes, they couldn't be cheep to implement and still don't make the buses any less late. But nice to know that the local council regards flashy nonsensical technology over giving the local youth something to do other than the things they barrate them for.

In conclusion while I don't believe my local youth group is the most important thing ever concerning the budget, id like to know why. If they were to shut down the youth centers Id want everyone involved in the budget cuts to come to each one they shut down to explain what they are spending the money on and explain why each costs so much and look each in the eye and say its worth it.

My Honest Personal statment (and how not to do it (I'm guessing)) (Not to be taken seriously)

Personal statement.

I went through a period of my life when I would leave to go to school, come back in to my house do nothing, and the weekend would consist of those last two events. I was a shut in and therefore as ou can Imagine, I didn’t do much with my time. I didn’t have any friends till I was eleven. I therefore spent a lot of time reading, mostly keeping track of how things such as the internet becoming a tool for news outlets and entertainment and reading a lot of books and from that I have learned how different writing styles are designed to bring across different points. For example right now I’m writing like a cunt . I myself have indulged in many writing based activites like keeping a non-existant blog that no one follows.

I’m in the process of writing a book. That’s about it.

I went ice skating, what most people would say they’ve learned from this is that they learned how to trust people around them, and be aware of their surroundings. I learned how to ice skate; and not even that well.

I went to scouts. Most people again, will make up social skills that it couldn’t of possibly have given them. But I learned somethings. I learned that you can’t trust an organisation no matter how widespread and seemingly wholesome it is. I learned with in a matter of seconds that the scouts was just a bunch of cunts gathered in a hall, that I am not for outdoor activity and that the scouts are all Nazis. I was bullied and they never even formally enrolled me the bastards.

I did karate, got red stripe, couldn’t hold my self in a fight, quit because It sucked.

I’m taking part in the poetry by heart competion because I like the sound of my own voice and incase you couldn’t tell I’m kind of scraping the barrel for pointless shit to say and panicing trying to come up with volunteering schemes. I’ll probably lose.

I spent two weeks sitting inmy mothers office pretending to do work because I had to do some work experience and quite frankly I learned (Say it with me now) NOTHING

Why are you still reading this, there are so many better thigns that we both could of done with the time. But hey, that’s what journalism’s all about. Honesty. Journalism is the act of writing about events and whats the point of writing about something if your not going to present it in fair yet honest way.